Breakfast of Champions

Some days you wake up and it's pouring and your roof is leaking and you have a lot of work to do but you left your keys in your office over the weekend and so instead you make a coffee cake and a chipotle bloody mary (or two) and call it a day.

I'm pretty proud of this coffee cake considering I made it up with things I have in my house and I've never made a coffee cake before. Also of note: the bloody mary probably doesn't go well with the coffee cake, but it sure goes down nicely while you're waiting for it to bake.

Coffee Walnut Coffee Cake
Ingredients
1 cup butter
1.5 cup white sugar
.5 cup turbinado sugar
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup vanilla yogurt
1 Tbsp vanilla
1 Tbsp kahlua
2 Tbsp instant coffee mixed into 1 tsp hot water (or the minimum amount of water you can use to get it to dissolve)
2 cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
-
1 cup chopped walnuts
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup flour
1 tsp cinnamon
4 Tbsp butter, melted

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 350, grease a 9x13 inch pan.
2. Cream butter and sugar on low until light and airy. Add eggs one at a time. Then add sour cream, yogurt, vanilla, kahlua and coffee.
3. Mix flour, salt, and baking soda in a separate bowl, then pour into mixer while still on low speed.
4. Scrape the bottom of the bowl with a spatula to make sure it's all mixed in and then mix at medium speed for one minute.
5. In a small bowl, mix the walnuts, brown sugar, flour and cinnamon with a fork. Mix in melted butter with a fork. The mixture should be clumpy.
6. Pour half the batter into the prepared pan. Sprinkle 1/3 of the walnut mixture in the middle. Add the rest of the batter and then cover the top with the remaining 2/3 of the walnut mixture.
7. Bake for 35-40 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.

Chipotle Bloody Mary
Ingredients
6 oz high quality tomato juice
juice of 1.5 limes
1 tsp horseradish
2 tsp adobo sauce from a jar of chipotle peppers
1 tsp chipotle powder
2 tsp Old Bay powder
1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
2 oz vodka.

Directions
1. Mix all ingredients except vodka in a jar and shake thoroughly.
2. Fill a glass with ice cubes and add vodka. Pour tomato juice mix into the cup.
3. Stir and serve with celery!

Savory Butternut Squash Pie

Heather is definitely the queen of pie! She alerted me to the National Pie Day which was on January 23. I know, I know, you've missed it for this year, BUT March 14 (aka 3.14 aka the REAL Pi day) is coming up soon, so all these pie recipes are going to come in handy!

This is one of my favorite savory pie recipes. I love squash. I love cheese. Perfect!



Ingredients
single crust pie dough (I like the vodka pie crust recipe that Heather previously wrote about)
2 lb butternut squash (I usually opt to buy two 1lb squashes because I think the smaller ones taste better!)
2 eggs
generous 1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
2 tsp salt
1 tsp nutmeg
pinch cayenne pepper
2 tbsp butter, softened (optional, this makes a rich pie even richer, but it's so good!)

Directions
1. Preheat your oven to 400. Roll out your pie crust into a 9 inch pie pan.
2. Cook the squash. I prefer to cut it in half, put the cut half down on a large plate and microwave it for 20 minutes. You can also roast the squash in the oven for a richer flavor, but this takes longer! Once the squash is cooked, allow it to cool (if you're using the microwave, it's going to be HOT. You may want to put the plate in the fridge or freezer to speed up the cooling process. Once it's cool, scoop out the flesh into a large bowl and mash it with a fork, this should be easy and you don't want large clumps.
2. Add the eggs and mix well.
3. Add the cheese, salt, nutmeg, cayenne and butter and mix until the filling is homogenous. You don't want to blend this, it should still have a little texture!
4. Bake at 400 for 25-30 minutes or until the squash juuuust starts to brown a little.
5. Allow the pie to cool for at least an hour before serving, though you may rewarm slices in the oven or microwave before serving.

Beer Bread (aka, how to get rid of old cheap beer in your fridge)

Let me tell you about something called Blanco Basura. Blanco Basura is a special product that my friends discovered that proudly claims how its name is Bad Spanish for "White Trash." So yeah, if you actually speak Spanish, it's not my fault. Anyway, Blanco Basura is a special party pack that comes with five beers, a pint of tequila and a shot glass.


(if you're wondering, yes that's an image of a dog peeing)

What a great idea! We knew it wasn't going to taste good, but $10 for a party? Awesome. But the tequila. is. awful. And I really like tequila. So we do the shots of tequila and chase it with a Blanco Basura beer. Hey! After that urine cleverly disguised as tequila, this beer is pretty good! We should totally buy this again! And again! And again! But really, Blanco Basura beer is not that good. So it sits and sits in my fridge for weeks... months even!



Until I decide enough is enough, I gotta get rid of this beer.

Beer bread is so good and so easy! It's hearty and a little sweet and gets rid of that crappy beer no one wants to drink. I've made beer bread with different kinds of beer, but I think lagers work the best. They give the least flavor. Bread is ok if it's a little yeasty, but you don't want it to be too strong. And you really don't want to waste good beer on bread! So use the cheap stuff leftover from that last party.

This recipe is easy and very basic. You can play around with sweetener, use some wheat flour, add butter, spices, cheese, whatever!

Ingredients
3 cups white flour
1.5 Tbsp baking soda
1.5 tsp salt
3 Tbsp sugar (if you want to substitute alternative sugars like honey, agave or molasses, I recommend using at least 1 Tbsp dry sugar)
12oz. beer

Directions
1. Preheat your oven to 350 and grease and flour a 5x9 inch loaf pan.
2. Whisk together all the dry ingredients.
3. Add the beer slowly while stirring with a wooden spoon. If you're adding a liquid sweetener, add half of the beer, then add the sweetener, then the rest of the beer. Stir the dough for about 2-3 minutes. The dough should be sticky.
4. Pour the dough into the prepared pan and bake for 45-55 minutes or until the top of the loaf begins to brown. The bread will rise quite a bit.
5. Remove from pan immediately and allow it to cool on a rack for at least 10 minutes (better if you can wait 30!) until cutting.
6. Enjoy alone or with butter and honey!

Flourless Chocolate Cake

I first made this cake because I didn't have any flour. But now I make it all the time because it's the easiest cake ever and it tastes really fancy. I probably shouldn't tell anyone that because they will be less impressed with my skills and will just make it themselves. But who cares! This cake is quite rich, be warned! But it's soooo good!

This cake is great because you can modify its flavor. I've made it with Kahlua and instant coffee, and with cayenne and cinnamon. You could make it with mint or orange (or orange liqueur) or any alcohol or fruit flavor you want, really! You can add more cocoa (or unsweetened chocolate) to make it richer or change the amount of sugar to your liking. I'd recommend starting with it as is and then playing with it.

Ingredients
1/2 cup unsalted butter
4 oz. semi sweet baking chocolate or 1/2 cup semi sweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup cocoa powder, sifted
3/4 cup white sugar
3 eggs, beaten
1 Tbsp vanilla
powdered sugar and/or cocoa for dusting

Optional Ingredients (don't use all of them together! just choose a flavor family and go with it)
1 Tbsp instant coffee and 2 Tbsp Kahlua
2 tsp cinnamon and 1 pinch (less than 1/8 tsp) cayenne pepper
1 tsp mint extract
1-2 Tbsp liqueur of your choice (suggestions: Contreau, Amaretto, Rum, Brandy, Bourbon... whatever your vice is, really!)

Directions
1. Preheat your oven to 325 and grease and flour a 8 inch round pan. Don't use a 9 inch pan. This cake is already thin!
2. Over very low heat or a double boiler, melt the butter or chocolate. Use a pan/pot large enough for everything in the recipe so you don't have more dishes to wash! Once melted, remove from heat.
3. Add the remaining ingredients. Taste the batter to make sure you like the flavors. They will likely cook out a little, but cayenne won't! I've put too much cayenne in because I couldn't taste it in the batter and then the cake was too spicy!
4. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes. Allow to cool for 10 minutes in the pan before removing it to a wire rack to cool completely.
5. Dust with cocoa powder or powdered sugar if you'd like! This also goes quite well with unsweetened or very lightly sweetened whipped cream and fresh berries!

Avocado Corn Muffins

from this recipe



I love muffins for breakfast. It's such a treat! I love making them. I love muffin tops. I love muffin stumps. I bought a giant muffin tin because I can happily eat one giant muffin, but I feel like a fatty if I eat 2 or 3 small muffins... even though a giant muffin is about three and a half small muffins. Judge. Whatever.

Heather made avocado muffins a while back. I always meant to try making them, but I never did (and I still haven't!) My friend brought me ten avocados and I had to use them up before they went bad... hence the avocado pesto from last week. I'd had a hankering for corn muffins and thought... well avocado goes with corn! I like that this recipe uses avocado in lieu of butter or oil. There isn't much flavor from the avocado but the muffins have a really smooth texture and a cool green color. The original recipe isn't very sweet, so I increased the sugar. I also used some whole wheat flour in some sort of healthy attempt.

Ingredients
1/2 cup flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup cornmeal
1/3 cup sugar
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
2 eggs
1/4 cup milk
1 large ripe avocado (I used 2 small)

Directions
1. Preheat your oven to 350. Grease and flour a cupcake tin, or line with cupcake wrappers.  This will make 3 large or 10-12 small muffins.
2. In a medium bowl, mix the dry ingredients.
3. Add the eggs one at a time.
4. In a small bowl, mash the avocado with a fork until it's really smooth, you really don't want any avocado lumps at all.
5. Add the avocado and milk to the flour egg mixture and mix well.
6. Scoop into cupcake tins, you want to fill the tins almost to the top to get a nice round delicious muffin top. Sprinkle some sugar on top if you want.
7. Bake from 20-30 minutes or until tops are firm and slightly golden. Remove from the tins immediately. In my opinion, muffins taste better the next day, not right out of the oven. The flavors melt together. So bake these at night and eat one for breakfast the next day!

Carmelitas

I have no idea where this recipe came from. My mom made these when I was growing up and I made them for Christmas and birthdays for people all the time. They are amazing. So indulgent. Chocolate. Caramel. Butter. These are actually really easy to make but are very impressive and people will ooh and aah the whole time they are eating. I promise.

Ingredients
1 cup flour
1 cup quick cooking oats
¾ cup brown sugar
¾ cup melted butter
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon baking soda
1 cup chocolate chips
½ cup chopped pecans or walnuts (optional)
¾ cup butterscotch or caramel topping
3 Tbsp flour

Directions

1. Preheat your oven to 350. You need a 9x13 inch pan, but don't grease it.
2. Mix the flour, oats, sugar, salt and baking soda in a medium bowl.
3. Stir in melted butter and mix completely.
4. Cut dough in half and pat half into the 9x13 pan. This will be a very thin layer that just barely covers the pan.
5. Bake for 10 minutes.
6. Remove pan from oven.
7. Microwave the caramel for about 20 seconds or just until it starts to bubble. Mix in the 3 Tbsp of flour.
8. Sprinkle the chocolate chips and nuts (if using) onto the pan. Pour caramel on top. Crumble the rest of the dough over the caramel.
9. Bake for 20 minutes.
10. When you remove from the oven, run a knife around the edge of the pan to loosen any caramel that has baked onto the pan.
11. Allow to cool and cut into bars.

Pineapple Upside Down Cake

My friend asked for a pineapple upside down cake... I feel like this is one of those things that you were supposed to learn how to make when you were little but I never did. I've actually made some other fruit upside down cakes but not a pineapple. I looked around and basically what I could deduce is a pineapple upside down cake is melted butter and sugar, pineapple rings and then white cake. I don't actually have a standard white cake recipe. I looked around and all the recipes I could find called for milk or buttermilk, neither of which I had. I used the Ultra Orange Cake from the Joy of Cooking (1997 Edition... different than the 75th anniversary edition) and a mash-up of the pineapple part... Oh, apparently PUDC (too long to retype every time) have maraschino cherries... but I hate maraschino cherries, so I used raspberries instead.

Let me just say that I was a little worried about the cake part... it's vegan and from the Joy which are two things I don't usually associate together. But oh man. So you flip the cake over, right? But I had a little extra batter and made some cupcakes with it and the top part made this little sugar crust to break through to get to the cake. Mmm! And the pineapple part was quite nice too, but I think this cake might have been too good for pineapples. It doesn't even need a glaze, I don't think. Maybe a dusting of powdered sugar to make it pretty.

Ingredients
4 Tbsp melted butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
7 pineapple rings (from a can, or fresh if you're fancy)
raspberries (or whatever) to put between the pineapples
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 cup sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
zest of 1 orange
1 cup orange or pinapple juice (I juiced the zested orange and then just used the juice from the pineapple can... if you do this MAKE SURE you are using pineapples in JUICE not SYRUP!)
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 Tbsp white vinegar
2 tsp vanilla

Directions
1. Preheat your oven to 350.
2. Pour the melted butter into an 8 or 9 inch round pan. Evenly sprinkle the brown sugar over the butter.
3. Place one pineapple ring in the middle and the remaining 6 around the edges. Put a raspberry in the middle of each ring and in any gaps between pineapples.
4. In a medium bowl, mix together the flour, sugar, salt, soda, and zest.
5. In a small bowl or liquid measuring cup, measure out the juice, oil, vinegar and vanilla.
6. Pour the liquids into the dry ingredients and mix together quickly.
7. Pour the batter into the pan. If you use an 8 inch pan, you'll probably have too much batter. But there are no eggs in it, so you don't have to worry about salmonella if you just want to eat it... but you could bake it into cupcakes too.
8. Bake for 35-40 minutes (my oven is so wonky so you might want to start checking at 30 minutes) or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
9. Allow the cake to cool for about 5 minutes before flipping it upside down onto a cake plate.

Cheesecake Brownies

(this recipe for the cheesecake and this recipe for the brownies)



I've been baking for birthdays a lot (duh). Cakes are great, but if there's no party, a cake is silly. Cakes are for big groups and should be cut with lots of people around. When I'm bringing a dessert to school a cake is really too much to deal with. I've been trying out different bar things. I looooove brownies but the problem with being the birthday fairy is that you always have to one-up yourself. I worry that I have to keep it fresh!



Thus, cheesecake brownies. This recipe called for a box brownie mix which is totally sacrilege in my book. (I remember last year I made brownies for my boss for his birthday and one of the people in my lab said, "wow, I've never eaten brownies not from a box before!") I used my favorite brownie recipe instead. If you have a favorite, feel free to substitute. This one is super easy, the brownie part takes less than 10 minutes to make, and... these brownies are just about perfect if I do say so myself. Then you take something perfect and add cream cheese and sugar. Ohhhh!

Ingredients
For the brownies
1 cup melted butter
3 cups white sugar (some of the reviewers on this recipe recommended using some brown sugar, but I tried that and don't like it as much)
1 Tbsp vanilla extract (or more, I never measure vanilla, I just pour until I'm happy)
4 eggs
1 1/2 cups flour
1 cup cocoa powder (sifted to remove clumps)
1 tsp salt
1-2 cups chocolate chips (at least 1 cup, use more if you're indulgent, but don't skip these!)
1 cup chopped pecans or walnuts (optional, I didn't use them this time, but I often do when I just make brownies without cheesecake on top)

For the cheesecake
8 oz. bar of cream cheese at room temperature (use Philadelphia! it's the best for baking, seriously)
2 Tbsp butter at room temperature
1 Tbsp cornstarch
14 oz. can sweetened condensed milk
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla

Directions
1. Preheat your oven to 350. Line a 9x13 pan with aluminum foil and grease generously.
2. In a large bowl, mix the melted butter, sugar and vanilla.
3. Beat in the eggs, one at a time.
4. Mix in flour, cocoa and salt.
5. Fold in chocolate chips and nuts (if using)
6. Pour the brownie batter into the prepared pan.
7. Cream together cream cheese, butter and cornstarch in a medium bowl or mixer. This will take a little while if you are doing it without a mixer, so make sure it's very soft!
8. Slowly mix in vanilla and egg, followed by sweetened condensed milk and keep mixing until everything is fully worked in.
9. Pour the cream cheese mixture evenly over the brownie batter, smoothing with a rubber spatula.
10. Bake for about 45 minutes or until the cheesecake is starting to brown. The top might crack a little. DO NOT OVERBAKE. If you're unsure, just take it out of the oven. These (like almost all brownies) are better undercooked.
11. Allow to cool completely (at least 2 hours) before cutting into bars and eating more than you intended to.

Decadent Raspberry Brownies (aka the best thing I have ever made)

based off of this recipe (generally I don't like/trust recipes from companies touting their brands but ohmygosh this is so good)



It was my boss's birthday and I had a vague recollection that he liked "fruity things." I wanted to make some sort of fruity brownies. I did a bunch of searches and finally decided that this was what I really wanted to make. It's a dense brownie, covered in a thin layer of raspberry preserves, covered in a layer of ganache. I also added some fresh raspberries to the top of the ganache.

I almost had some serious problems. First I used a pan that was too big because I am dumb and the batter was way too thin and I had to transfer it (aluminum foil and all) to a smaller pan. Then, when I was making the ganache, I accidentally bought bittersweet chocolate instead of semi sweet and so I added some sugar but it basically ruined the ganache completely and I had to start all over. My roommate was watching while I was struggling and said "See, this is how the rest of us feel when we try to bake things!" But they came out perfect anyway.

And I do mean perfect. I have never gotten so many emphatic compliments about something I've made before. I say with little humility that I am pretty good at this baking thing by now and I'm used to compliments. I actually made these two days in a row (for my boss one day, and then the next day for an engagement party I went to) and people I didn't know were seeking me out to compliment me and some of my friends are STILL talking about these brownies, a week later!

They are not difficult to make if you don't make my dumb mistakes, but they do take quite a bit of time because you have to let the brownies cool before adding anything else, and you have to let the ganache cool before cutting them. If you can, I think it's best to make these the night before. Also, even if the ganache is totally cooled, cutting these is a little sticky so you'll have to wipe your knife in between cuts.

Ingredients
4 (1 ounce) squares Bakers UNSWEETENED baking chocolate
3/4 cup butter
2 cups sugar
3 eggs
2 tsp vanilla
1 cup flour
1/4 cup seedless raspberry jam
6 (1 ounce) squares Baker's SEMI SWEET sweet baking chocolate
3/4 cup heavy cream
fresh raspberries for garnish (I used 24 cut in half, but you'll need extras for the ones you cut poorly/accidentally drop in your mouth)

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line 13x9-inch baking pan with aluminum foil, leaving some on the ends so you can eventually pull the brownies out with the foil. Spray the foil with cooking spray (use the kind that has flour in it if you have it!) 
2. Heat the unsweetened chocolate and butter over medium low heat and stir constantly until butter and chocolate are completely melted. Remove from heat.
3. Stir sugar into chocolate mixture and mix well. Mix in eggs and vanilla, then flour. Stir in flour until everything is totally mixed in. 
4. Pour evenly into the pan, it will be fairly thin, don't worry!
5. Bake 30 to 35 minutes (use the toothpick test!) and be careful to not overbake. It's much better to underbake than to overbake!
6. Allow the brownies to cool completely in the pan, at least an hour, more if you have time. Now would be a good time to slice some raspberries if you are into that.
7. Once the brownies are cool, evenly spread the jam on the brownies. Resist the urge to use more jam, even though it seems like a good idea! Reviews of the recipe say if you use too much jam, then the ganache will slide off!
8. Heat the semi sweet chocolate and cream over a double boiler and stir until the chocolate is completely melted. I don't think you need to add any flavorings to the ganache (I usually do), just let the intense chocolate flavor stand on its own!anache evenly o
9. Spread ganache evenly over the jam.
10. While the ganache is still liquid, press half raspberries into it in whatever pattern you'd like. I did 6 x 8 raspberries, so a total of 48 halves.
11. Allow the ganache to set at room temperature, at least 3 hours but overnight is better. I'd recommend against putting them in the fridge until set unless you are in a time crunch. Doing this causes condensation on the ganache, but it's not a big deal.
12. Carefully remove brownies from the pan by pulling out the aluminum foil and place on a cutting board. Wet a very sharp and thin knife and cut into bars (I cut mine so each had 2 half raspberries) and wipe off chocolate/wet the knife between cuts so it doesn't gunk up.

Avocado Muffins

I recently picked up 1001 Muffins, Biscuits, Doughnuts, Pancakes, Waffles, Popovers, Fritters, Scones and Other Quick Breads from the library. It delivers just what it promises – no introductions or descriptions with each recipe, just dutiful lists of ingredients and baking instructions. Each recipe is accompanied by a photo of the food, a single muffin (or waffle or whatever) floating in space. I admire this book for its minimalism and straightfowardness. As far as I can tell, one guy came up with every recipe in this book, and as you can imagine, some of them are a little weird. I was intrigued by the Avocado Muffins.

Avocado Muffins

2 cups all-purpose flour

2 tsp baking powder

¼ cup sugar

½ tsp salt

1 cup toasted slivered almonds

1 large egg

¼ cup butter, melted

1 cup milk

1 medium ripe avocado, peeled, seeded and pureed

1. Position the rack in the center of the oven and preheat to 375 degrees F. Lightly grease or line with paper baking cups twelve 2 ¾-inch muffin cups.

2. In a large bowl, blend together the flour, baking powder,sugar, salt, and almonds. In a small bowl, beat the egg until foamy. Beat in the butter, milk, and pureed avocado. Combine the two mixtures, blending until the dry ingredients are just moistened.

3. Spoon the batter into the prepared muffin cups, filling each about three-quarters full. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, or until a cake tester or wooden toothpick inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean. Cool in the pan on a wire rack for 5 to 7 minutes. Serve warm, or invert onto the rack to cool completely. Top with Peach Sauce.

Once baked, these muffins are a pale green. The toasted almonds are a very nice addition to the creamy avocado taste. I did not make the recommended Peach Sauce, but they taste great warm with a little butter. I can imagine a little cinnamon added to the batter would be very nice.